The pivotal step in a Vedic marriage is Varapreṣaṇam, the formal proposal. Rigveda (RV 10.85.9) sheds light on this sacred practice on this
Sloka:
somo vadhūyur abhavad aśvināstām ubhā varā |
sūryāṃ yat patye śaṃsantīm manasā savitādadāt ||
Translate:
Soma was the bridegroom,
Both Aśvinā the accompanying ones, When to the Sūryā who wished by her mind, Savitā bestowed Soma as her husband.
Two representatives, known as “varas,” are sent from the groom’s end to formally seek the bride’s hand, reminiscent of Aśvinā seeking Sūryā for Soma.
The two wooers, after given consent by bride’s father seeing that his daughter wishes for marriage, are sent away with prayers praying for their safe journey.
There are two important thing to be noted here.
- First The willingness and happiness is required from the bride-to-be, as much as the older ones arranging the marriage. This is indicated specially in the verse, “śaṃsantīm manasā, “who wished by her mind”
- The second part is savitādadāt which means given, hand over or bestowed upon.The wording of the mantras are ambivalent (or rather, intentionally so) on whether the bride is bestowed on the groom, or the groom bestowed on the bride. One would see that should be the ideal concept as well. But a fraction of the people did believe the wording meant the bride was bestowed on the groom, since anyway groom takes her with him, back to his home (patrilocality). This is the source for the logic of kanyādāna – although the modern kanyadana ceremony itself is not Vedic and is therefore totally omitted by fundamentalists like Āpastamba (as opposed to traditionalists) from discussion.
